Rationally speaking, Zhu Qingyu knew very well that the Start of Winter four years ago was just an ordinary day in the lives of the masses.
On that day four years ago, everyone was living their normal lives. Some became monks, some got married, some went to see patients, and some attended funerals.
Millions of people in the world had spent such an ordinary day on the Start of Winter four years ago.
Therefore, Gu Zhao entering the monastery four years ago and her crossing over to this world on the same day had no essential connection; it was merely a coincidence.
Emotionally, however, Zhu Qingyu grabbed onto this detail like a drowning person clutching at a floating straw. She suddenly developed a keen interest in the reason why Gu Zhao became a monk back then.
Even though he had entered the Buddhist gates, the Gu Zhao she knew was not a monk at all.
He said he became a monk by imperial decree, which meant he didn't enter the monastery voluntarily, just as she didn't come to this world voluntarily.
But he was luckier than her. He thought he could never leave for the rest of his life, yet ultimately, he did.
Earlier, Zhang Shen had mentioned that Gu Zhao left Huangjue Temple because the new Emperor personally brought him back after ascending the throne.
Gu Zhao could use imperial power to leave a world he didn't want to stay in. But what about her? Even if the Emperor issued a decree, there was no way to send her back to her original world.
Zhu Qingyu suddenly envied Gu Zhao, envied him so very much. At this moment, this envy even defeated all her previous feelings toward him, whether good or bad.
In front of her, he had now turned into a giant, glittering lucky koi. She wondered if hugging him and taking a deep breath would let some of his good luck rub off on her.
Ahhhhh, why was he the only one who could leave? She wanted to be as lucky as him. She had long grown sick of this broken place, and she wanted to leave too!
To make a clean break with all this feudal dross!
Stimulated by this sudden realization about the Start of Winter four years ago, wild thoughts frantically popped into Zhu Qingyu's mind. She felt like she was going crazy.
The snowstorm grew heavier. Gu Zhao readjusted her hood and shielded her as they crossed the courtyard and entered the main house.
Although he didn't know why, Gu Zhao felt that the way she looked at him had suddenly become very strange.
Yet this gaze contained inquiry, interest, and even a yearning that softened Gu Zhao's heart. He helped her untie her snow-covered cloak and asked:
"What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"
Because you are a lucky dog, and I really envy your good luck. After all, not everyone gets to encounter such a good thing as the old emperor passing away and a new emperor taking the throne.
Zhu Qingyu asked:
"Shouming, why did the late Emperor make you become a monk back then? Are you allowed to talk about it?"
There was nothing he couldn't say. Back then, the late Emperor had issued an edict of self-reproach, which was proclaimed to the whole world.
Gu Zhao finished untying her cloak, then took her to wash her face, replying:
"Because of the epidemic four years ago, I was ordered by the late Emperor to enter the monastery and worship the Medicine Buddha, praying for the Bodhisattva to descend and bless the world, saving the common people."
Zhu Qingyu usually didn't believe in these gods and Buddhas, but at this very moment, she desperately hoped it was true, immediately asking:
"Did it work?"
Gu Zhao knew she had never held any reverence for the Bodhisattva, and he found it strange that she was probing so deeply today. He answered:
"After I entered the monastery, the epidemic indeed dissipated."
So effective?!
Zhu Qingyu suddenly grabbed Gu Zhao's hand:
"Shouming, can I go take a look? Can I go pray to the Bodhisattva? Just for a little while!"
Even though Gu Zhao had left the monastery, the Medicine Buddha enshrined in the main hall of Yongfu Villa still enjoyed continuous incense, with people specially tending to it every day.
With an excited heart, Zhu Qingyu followed Gu Zhao to the main hall. With an unprecedented piety, she offered a stick of incense to the Bodhisattva and made a wish in her heart:
"Bodhisattva, oh Bodhisattva, please, I beg you, help me. Can you send me back? This faithful believer will surely worship you day and night from now on."
Zhu Qingyu pleaded for a long time, right up until the incense stick burned out, but the Bodhisattva remained completely unresponsive.
Gu Zhao stayed by her side watching her the whole time. Seeing her go from excitement, anticipation, and anxiety to disappointment, he really wanted to ask her:
"What are you praying to the Bodhisattva for?"
Yet he was afraid of hearing an answer from her mouth that he didn't want to hear.
In fact, she clearly knew it was impossible, but a sliver of hope had just been kindled, only to be shattered just as quickly.
Reality was just that ruthless and heartless.
Reality had always been this ruthless and heartless.
Zhu Qingyu felt as if something was blocking her chest, a suffocating feeling that made her want to scream, shout, pick a fight with someone, and vent it all out completely.
But in the end, she merely stood up and asked calmly:
"Why does the Bodhisattva only answer you and ignore me?"
Gu Zhao noticed that her state of mind was very off. Supporting her, he said:
"The Bodhisattva is in the heart."
Zhu Qingyu didn't understand, nor did she want to. That nowhere-to-be-released frustration made her whole body uncomfortable. Later, while keeping Gu Zhao company during dinner and bathing, she was so frustrated her teeth itched.
This agonizing urge to vent dominated her mind, so much so that after lying in bed for a long time, she finally noticed Gu Zhao hadn't made a move.
Zhu Qingyu was feeling terribly suffocated right now, so she spoke with less courtesy:
"Don't you want to?"
Gu Zhao lay beside her:
"I can see you're not in a good state. Let's do it another day."
Another day, another day, who's going to wait for another day with you!
Tomorrow I'm going to part ways with you, you dog of a man, and make a clean break!
Zhu Qingyu suddenly sat up, straddled him, and started unbuttoning Gu Zhao's clothes. Pulling open his inner robe, she bit down hard on his bare shoulder, biting so fiercely it almost drew blood.
Gu Zhao paused, but said nothing. He let her bite him and reached out to hold her.
Having bitten this dog of a man fiercely, Zhu Qingyu felt much better in her heart. Still unsatisfied, she bit his neck as well.
This time she might have bitten too hard, as Gu Zhao let out a muffled groan.
This muffled groan actually sounded quite nice, and Zhu Qingyu felt much more comfortable.
But it was still not enough, not enough, not enough!
She wanted to vent, wanted to scream, wanted to curse at this world.
Beneath her was a younger man with height, good looks, abs, size, and strength.
A guy who, if met in the modern world, would be very suitable for a flirtatious fling.
A guy who, after tonight, would have nothing more to do with her.
Zhu Qingyu reached out to caress Gu Zhao's face, leaned down, and whispered seductively in his ear:
"Baby boy, do you want it or not? If not, I'll go find someone else."
Because Zhu Qingyu was sitting on him, Gu Zhao had already been pushed to his limit. It was only out of consideration for her poor state of mind that he hadn't forced himself on her.
But as soon as Zhu Qingyu said those words, Gu Zhao could no longer endure it. He flipped over and pressed her beneath him.
Who tore open whose clothes, skin against skin, lips and teeth clinging, intimately intertwined.
Whose curses were broken and messy:
"Gu Shouming, you... dog of a man!"
And who threw away their armor in surrender.
And who gasped ceaselessly, refusing to yield an inch.
......
In this ruthless and heartless world, on this night of a raging snowstorm.
A foolish man and a resentful woman, their hearts broken by the world, shared a night of indulgence, a night of possession.
Her indulgence.
His possession.
