Sang Lu took a shallow breath.
As Feng Yan carried her toward the bed, her mind kept repeating the same words to herself over and over.
Stay calm…
Stay calm, okay?!
Haven’t seen a pig run, but haven’t you eaten pork before?
As an adult who’s read so many novels and watched so much anime, whatever happens next—just take it in stride, alright?
Besides, she wasn’t some naive eighteen-year-old girl anymore.
And they were legally married.
Thump-thump—
Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of her own heartbeat.
She scolded her heart.
Get a grip! Stop pounding so hard!
Her palms weren’t cooperating either, slick with a fine layer of sweat.
Before she could even decide which body part to blame for the clammy hands, her back suddenly sank into softness.
The air seemed to freeze in an instant.
The man braced his arms above her, locking eyes with her.
His deep gaze held hers unwaveringly, the corners of his eyes faintly suppressing something.
After a long pause, his lips parted. “I—”
“It’s fine.” Sang Lu turned her head away.
All those novels and anime finally came in handy.
Without waiting for him to ask, she answered first, feigning nonchalance.
Don’t ask if it’s okay.
If it weren’t, she would’ve stopped him already.
She just wanted to skip the polite questioning part.
No other reason—she simply couldn’t stand the way he was looking at her.
Even one more second under that intense gaze, and she’d combust from embarrassment, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest.
“Okay.”
He still spoke.
Just one word.
Sang Lu’s palms betrayed her again, damp with sweat.
Feng Yan’s shadow enveloped her as he leaned down and kissed her.
The way he kissed matched the way he carried himself—unapologetically possessive.
His warm breath brushed against her skin, alternating between damp and scorching.
Sang Lu lowered her lashes, her eyelids twitching.
That cold, aloof face was now buried against her neck, kissing downward…
His high nose bridge grazed her skin, sending shivers in its wake.
His arms, veins prominent, gripped her waist firmly.
This was a Feng Yan completely unlike his usual detached self.
And yet, this version of him struck her as irresistibly alluring.
Her heartbeat spiraled out of control.
His breath tickled her, and Sang Lu flipped her palm, clutching the bedsheet tightly.
But the moment her wrist turned, a large hand closed over it.
His broad palm slid from her wrist to the back of her hand, prying her fingers open.
The thought of what those hands had just been doing—
Sang Lu curled her fingertips, heat flooding her cheeks.
She averted her gaze, not daring to look any longer.
Instead, she stared blankly at the ceiling.
The bedroom was dim, curtains drawn shut.
Sang Lu’s vision refused to focus.
With no visuals, her other senses sharpened.
She had no idea where his next kiss would land.
Even the lightest touch sent tremors through her.
She desperately wanted to grab onto something, but there was nothing to hold.
Suddenly, the grip on her wrist loosened.
He lowered his head.
Sang Lu’s breath hitched, her hand twisting violently into the sheet.
The fabric crumpled under her grip.
Wait…
Was this what he’d been asking about?
Then…
Hiss…
She… might not actually be fine with it.
Her back arched as she sat up abruptly.
“Don’t—”
The moment she spoke, Sang Lu startled at her own voice—hoarse and wrecked, as if scorched by fire.
Her throat felt parched, aching.
Embarrassed, she swallowed, lashes fluttering.
But when she tried to continue, Feng Yan lifted his head, and the words died in her throat.
The way her lashes trembled, the way she bit her lip—Feng Yan took it all in.
A vein pulsed at his temple, his dark eyes churning.
His large hand wrapped around her ankle, effortlessly dragging her back beneath him.
“You said it was fine.”
Sang Lu froze.
Feng Yan’s handsome, stern face loomed above her.
His breathing was restrained, but his voice was rough and uneven, the corners of his eyes tinged with faint redness, his gaze heavy.
Against her will, her heart softened.
When she’d said “fine,” she’d known.
There were no condoms at home.
She’d thought the worst that could happen was him kissing her everywhere.
But she hadn’t expected… he really would kiss her everywhere…
Sang Lu bit her lip, turning her face away.
Her voice grew quieter.
“Then… turn off the light.”
The man’s tense expression relaxed at her permission.
He reached out, fingers flexing, and switched off the bedside lamp.
The room plunged into complete darkness.
Sang Lu’s ankle was still in his grasp, her body sinking into the mattress like a cloud.
There was nothing to hold onto.
Except for the short, coarse strands of his hair under her fingers.
Her dazed eyes stared at the ceiling, but all she saw was black.
Her breathing grew increasingly unsteady.
She’d never known her voice could fracture like this.
Brows furrowed, she wanted to tell him to slow down.
But those few short words took forever to form between gasps.
Incoherent.
Under his control, she lost herself, white light bursting behind her eyelids.
……
Much later, the bedside lamp flickered back on.
Sang Lu was drenched, as if she’d just been fished out of water.
Feng Yan lifted her and carried her into the bathroom.
The faucet turned on.
Water steadily filled the tub.
Still dazed, Sang Lu was lowered into the warm water.
She couldn’t bring herself to meet Feng Yan’s eyes.
From her periphery, she caught the faint curve of his lips—was that a smile? Or… smugness?
As if he took pleasure in seeing her so thoroughly undone.
Her face burned.
Remembering how she’d been moments ago, she wanted to dunk her head underwater.
But then again…
Fine, she’d let him have this one.
After all, she’d enjoyed it too…
But…
What about him?
When he’d lifted her earlier, she’d felt his obvious arousal, his breathing ragged, as if he’d been holding back with great effort.
Lost in thought, she barely noticed when Feng Yan handed her a glass of water.
He ruffled her disheveled hair.
“Drink.”
Sang Lu looked up, catching the faint glimmer in his eyes, the barely suppressed smirk.
Way too smug!
Her cheeks flamed. She shoved the glass back into his hands.
“Get out, get out… I can wash myself. I’ll be too embarrassed with you here.”
The abruptly dismissed man blinked, momentarily stunned.
After a beat, realization dawned on his handsome face.
Even after seeing everything…
She could still be shy.
He found it endearing.
Still, he obeyed, stepping out of the bathroom—but not before setting the glass beside her with a reminder:
“Drink more water.”
Sang Lu stared at the closed door, processing his words.
Wait…
Was there a double meaning there?
Suddenly, she remembered—when the lights had first turned back on, she’d glimpsed a darker patch on the sheets.
AHHHHHHH—
So embarrassing!!!
She dunked her head underwater, desperate to scrub the memory from her brain.
……
By the time she finished bathing, the sheets had been changed.
Avoiding eye contact, she slithered under the covers, trying to make herself as small as possible.
The sound of Feng Yan entering the bathroom reached her ears.
Water ran for a long, long time.
When he finally returned, Sang Lu was already half-asleep, exhaustion weighing her down.
Just as she teetered on the edge of unconsciousness, the man behind her pulled her into his arms, his muscular frame enveloping her.
A low, husky voice drifted to her:
“We’ll buy some tomorrow.”
