"Listen, my friends."
"Couldn't your parents have somewhat normal professions in your essays?"
Chen Jiaojiao peeked over, a little dumbfounded.
What in the world was all this?
"But..." She changed her tune, stars in her eyes. "Your intro sounds so cool!"
Assassins here, assassinations there.
To put it bluntly, writing essays was just a bunch of kids making things up, piecing together a few traces of reality amidst the awkward content.
If Chen Jiaojiao were writing, she would definitely write about which country her mom went to as a judge, or what she liked to use for her designs.
Then she would add a line at the end: I love my designer mom.
But Shen Yi had truly never written an essay before; her teachers in her past life didn't tutor her in this kind of homework.
She racked her brains for a long time, and simply decided to write down the daily, mundane events of her family just to meet the word count.
As a result, when Chen Jiaojiao peeked over after she finished, she couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Are you guys sure you want to hand it in like this?"
Shen Yi admired her masterpiece that took a whole class period to write, and nodded.
"Can't we? The teacher said we needed to integrate our real-life situations."
Everything Shen Yi wrote was reality, without a single bit of exaggeration.
The same went for Shen Xun.
From this perspective, they were both very honest people.
"So you're saying your family's reality is this..." Chen Jiaojiao gestured with her hands, holding back a laugh. "This absurdly hilarious?"
Absurd?
Hilarious?
Shen Yi and Shen Xun exchanged a glance and asked in unison, "Is it?"
Chen Jiaojiao collapsed onto the desk, unable to get back up. "No wonder you two are siblings."
Their brain circuits were clearly abnormal.
What kind of normal person writes an essay with such thrilling content?
And after writing it, they actually didn't think anything was wrong.
Shen Yi: "The teacher did say it had to be real, right?"
The two of them had clearly written it according to the requirements.
Chen Jiaojiao chuckled.
Suddenly, she was really looking forward to the teacher's reaction.
...
Grading essays usually took a day, but elementary school essays were short, so the teacher simply finished grading them that same day.
Most of the students' writing read like a massive flexing showcase.
She was starting to feel a bit resentful of the rich just from grading these essays.
No wonder they say ten years of hard study can't beat being born into a good family.
The language teacher opened the next essay workbook with a heavy heart.
It was written by Shen Yi.
She had a pretty good impression of that little girl.
She was very cute, usually quiet and well-behaved, and her background was quite mysterious. The language teacher thought she might be able to catch a glimpse of the child's family background from this essay, so she opened it full of anticipation.
—My mom is a woman who understands assassination the best, and knows quite a bit about assassins.
This unconventional opening made the teacher fall silent for a moment. With a bizarre feeling, she continued reading.
Mom is a very independent person and is very strict with us.
In the past, my brother used to do all my homework for me.
Then one day, Mom discovered that I never did my own homework.
She pulled me into the room and told me seriously that other things could be left to my brother, but I had to do my homework myself.
She said: Learning is a very important thing.
But I didn't want to do my homework.
I was very unhappy and asked Mom if she did her own homework in the past.
Mom said she didn't really go to school much before, but later, due to work requirements, she had to write a mission report every time she completed a job.
However, ever since Dad came along, he helped her write all the mission reports.
Dad has nice handwriting, a sharp mind, and the reports he writes are perfect.
If Dad didn't do a good job helping her write them, she would pull out a Gatling gun and mount it across the table.
Mom looked at me calmly and said gently that if I didn't do my homework properly in the future, I would get the same Gatling gun treatment as Dad.
From that day on, I turned over a new leaf and decided to do my homework properly, becoming a good baby who does her own homework!
Conclusion:
My mom is a very gentle person.
In the future, I definitely want to become a woman among women, an alpha female just like Mom.
The teacher's mouth twitched, and she opened the second book underneath.
It was Shen Xun's.
The sister was a piece of work, and the brother was no less impressive.
Shen Xun also wrote about his father in his essay:
My dad is a very lazy person.
He used to be a second-generation rich kid.
Because being with Mom brought a lot of trouble to Grandpa's side of the family, he was exiled by his clan.
The first time they met was at an assassination scene.
Mom was holding a SIG Sauer P226, and Dad was holding a Remington M2010 ESR.
Not only did Dad make a wasted trip and have his mission target stolen, but he also got beaten up.
His subordinates were very angry when they found out.
They tried to get revenge on Mom.
And then they were all beaten half to death by Mom together.
What a stupid adult.
Mom said that she and Dad fell in love at first sight.
Dad, however, said it was love at first punch, and when he got out of the hospital, he even thought about asking Mom for emotional distress compensation.
Finally, he concluded in his essay:
My dad is a very classless man.
And I would never ask a girl for emotional distress compensation.
I will be a good person in the future.
This kid was also quite funny.
When wrapping up the theme at the end, he actually didn't forget to step on his own biological father.
Also, why did this kid know gun models like the back of his hand and remember them so clearly?!!
Very bizarre.
Just what kind of people were these siblings?
Shen Yi and Shen Xun's essays were just too bizarre, and unsurprisingly, the teacher repeatedly took them out to appreciate them.
Not gonna lie.
There was a bit of black humor amidst the absurdity.
Really not bad.
She repeatedly savored them.
These two kids deserved to have their essays put on display.
...
Early the next morning, Shen Yi dragged her brother and rushed into the school building. When they finally made it to the classroom door, they found that most of the people were gathered around, looking at something unknown.
Chen Jiaojiao waved enthusiastically and told them, "Your essays have been put on public display!"
"Are you surprised? Did you expect this?"
"..."
Shen Yi slammed on the brakes, her voice rising:
"Our essays got... got posted on the essay board?"
"I really couldn't tell you had such a rich imagination, Shen Yi," a boy in the class said with a laugh.
At most, they would write things like 'My Department Director Father' or 'My Mayor Mother.'
These siblings were exceptionally unconventional and original.
"I didn't expect you two to be so quiet normally but actually so calculating, writing this kind of content to grab attention."
He suddenly realized, "Why didn't I think of that? If I had known, I would have written about my Ultraman dad!"
Shen Yi: "..."
Thanks, but no thanks.
Currently at school.
And already being laughed to death by the surrounding classmates.
"I woke up to find my bestie has become the biggest joke, hahahahaha."
Chen Jiaojiao hugged her, practically dying of laughter.
"Do I get mocked like this just for pouring my heart out?" Shen Yi hugged Chen Jiaojiao and couldn't help but complain loudly.
She clearly wrote without any tricks, it was all true feelings and real facts.
And the result was being publicly executed like this.
"I told you to write something normal, but you wouldn't listen."
"Now it's on display."
Shen Yi: "..."
Cannot_smile_anymore.JPG
Of course, the teacher also just thought the content was very interesting.
It carried a sense of dark humor mixed with a deadpan sort of madness.
Coupled with the fact that the two kids had an impressive grasp of word choice and phrasing, it was well worth putting on public display.
Occasionally, school officials on inspection tours would glance over it in passing. And to be fair, it was genuinely well-written—the narrative was concise, and the content was full of childlike charm.
But their laughter came to an abrupt halt the moment they saw the names signed at the bottom.
"What is the last name of these two children?"
The teacher replied, "Shen."
"..." After that, the officials collectively resembled ducks grabbed by the throat, completely unable to squeeze out another laugh.
